It’s no surprise to anyone that law enforcement officers are not always favored and definitely not always appreciated for what they do.
Some people believe that officers are cold, emotionless robots with no feelings or care for others. A negative stigma has been placed on men and women who wear a badge, especially over the past few years.
As a wife to a law enforcement officer, I will be the first to tell you those false opinions hit hard and a little too close to home.
My Trooper (Indiana State Trooper) is not only a passionate, hard-working officer, but he’s also a wonderful and loving husband, father and man.
I want to share who my man (and other officers) is behind the badge, and give perspective from the wife of a law enforcement officer.
The Path to Pursuing Law Enforcement
I remember the day my husband told me he wanted to pursue a career in a law enforcement. At the time, we had been married for a little over a year, I was finishing school, we had a mortgage payment we could barely afford and my husband was a CPA. Yes, an accountant.
So how does an accountant go from crunching numbers and auditing companies to suddenly wanting to wear a uniform and chase down “bad guys?” I asked that same question.
At first, I didn’t think my husband could possibly be serious or would actually follow through with anything. I simply played it off as a whim, a childhood dream he was re-visiting. Something he just casually mentioned would make an interesting career.
As time went on and the conversations became more and more serious, I realized he really was giving this idea some serious thought.
I would love to tell you that I was excited for this new adventure he wanted to embark on, and that I was completely supportive of his sudden desire to change careers (and our whole life).
I won’t lie to you though. I was not excited nor was I very supportive.
Like I mentioned before, we were newly married, we had college loans to pay, a mortgage and were barely making ends meet. How would we make it work when his new career would mean a significant decrease in income?
These thoughts and worries plagued my mind for months as my husband continued pursuing law enforcement. I so desperately wanted to have a better attitude and support his dream, but I struggled. A lot.
I did the only thing I really could do in that situation. I prayed and prayed some more. My prayers were for a heart change and a peace with my husband’s decision. I asked God to help me support him and have a more positive outlook. Mostly, I asked God to bless this journey and be with us every step of the way. Whatever would come of it.
More than a Career
My husband followed through with his dream of law enforcement and eventually (it’s a long process) in November 2013 he was accepted into the 76th recruit academy for the Indiana State Police.
His academy lasted six months and he only came home on weekends. I wish I could say those six months blew past quickly and smoothly, but that would be a lie.
It was one of the coldest winters we had experienced in northern Indiana in a long time, and living in an almost 100 year old home at the time, it was cold! Our wood stove stopped working, we had poor insulation and our furnace barely put out any heat. I was alone (with our dog) and learning how to get by and survive the day to day on my own.
It was a challenge, but I tried to be as positive and upbeat as I could, especially during the five minute phone calls my husband was allowed to make to me every night.
The best thing that happened to me during Jon’s time at the academy was the strengthening of my relationship with God. There were so many days I was defeated, lonely and tired of handling everything on my own. I had to rely on God for my strength and perseverance. His comfort and unending grace got me through all those months.
When my husband’s graduation day finally arrived and I got to see him march in with his class, my heart immediately swelled with pride. God gave me such a strong assurance than Jon was exactly where he was meant to be, about to embark on what he was meant to do.
That was the day I realized law enforcement wasn’t simply a new career for Jon. It was a true calling on his life.
Adjusting to Police Wife Life
Going from having a husband with an office job and a regular 9-5 schedule to a husband that worked a schedule I could never get used to or keep up with (I still can’t keep up with it), was definitely an adjustment.
During Jon’s FTO period, he drove around with other troopers and worked every different shift that was offered. During those months of training, I could see my husband’s excitement build and his eagerness to get out there and make a difference. He grew more and more anxious to have his own car and learn on his own.
He eventually did get his own car and started working a regular schedule, or as regular as you can call an officer’s schedule. He worked nights and got assigned to one of the most crime-filled counties in our area. Not exactly a comforting thing for a new law enforcement wife.
I had to once again adjust and learn to have a new “normal” in our marriage. He was gone all night which meant I slept alone and hardly ever saw him. He got home when I would leave for work and by the time I got home, he was getting ready for his shift. Once again, God gave me the strength to be more independent and learn to deal with things on my own. It was our new way of life.
My experience with law enforcement was very limited before Jon became a trooper. I didn’t grow up in a law enforcement family and hardly knew any officers on a personal level. The way of life, the brotherhood, the crazy schedules, the constant worry/fear, the new sense of being alert and aware of my surroundings at all times, was a completely new way to live.
It wasn’t always an easy adjustment and I definitely didn’t embrace this new life we had in the beginning.
From Accepting to Embracing
I remember the first time I really stopped and reflected on just how dangerous my husband’s new job was. Of course I knew police officers deal with tough situations and not the most upstanding civilians, but I hadn’t really thought of the depth of what they see and do each and every day.
Every day my husband left for work, he strapped on a bulletproof vest and a belt with a variety of weapons to defend himself. I started realizing that he would most likely have to actually use those things he wore as part of his uniform. His intense training in the academy and beyond wasn’t just for the fun of it. It was to prepare him for when situations arose that were dangerous and threatening to his life. Not if, but when.
Reality sunk in that my husband wasn’t just a trooper. He was a walking target, a man that some people had no respect or regard for at all. He was dealing with a small percentage of people that are kind and decent, but mostly with people who have no fear of consequences for their actions and who don’t feel officers of the law have a right to interfere with their lives.
Even though I had fear and anxiety (and still do) for my husband’s safety every time he radioed 10-41 (beginning tour of duty), God gave me peace that he was doing what he was meant to and I could trust His plan. I couldn’t control what would or wouldn’t happen to my husband every time he was on duty, but I could pray for him and put my faith in God and His control over our lives.
I went from accepting that Jon was now a law enforcement officer to actually embracing what that really meant and supporting him the best I knew how.
Passion and Drive
When I think of my husband and the type of trooper he is, I immediately settle on the words “passion and drive.” Jon not only enjoys being a trooper, but he has a true passion for it. He’s driven and hard-working and goes out each day he’s on duty to fulfill the purpose he was given.
My husband doesn’t enjoy arresting people and handing out punishments for their actions because he’s cold and heartless. In fact, it’s just the opposite. He wants people to learn from their mistakes and make better choices in the future.
He wants to keep others safe by keeping impaired drivers off the road. He wants to protect children who are living with abusive and addictive parents. He wants to keep abusive spouses from continuing to hurt their significant others. He wants to help control the staggering drug problem we have around us. He simply wants to do what he took an oath to do: to uphold the law and do it with dignity and honor.
Jon has been recognized for the work he does each and every day. He’s received awards and honors for going above and beyond the line of duty. I love sharing his accomplishments. Not because I want to brag or pretend my husband is perfect, but because I’m so proud of what he does and the commitment he’s made to enforcing the law. I’m proud of him for doing a job that so many of us couldn’t do ourselves, and so badly need honorable men and women to step up and do for us.
I’m thankful to have a husband who is passionate and driven in serving our communities.
Dealing with Criticism
I’ve told you about my struggles to embrace this law enforcement life and also about the wonderful trooper my husband is, but I haven’t shared one of the biggest obstacles of this life.
The criticism.
It started by things I heard and saw on tv, in articles I read and all over social media. I learned just how much officers like my husband were not only unappreciated and disrespected, but downright hated by so many. The riots became more frequent, movements started against the police and people started harming and killing innocent officers just because they could.
Law enforcement officers suddenly had an image of being quick to shoot, slow to understand and overall an air of hostility and dishonor.
This was/is not an easy thing for a wife of a law enforcement officer to take in. This definitely doesn’t ease my fear and anxiety for my husband’s safety. It heightens it to all new levels.
As if the country’s criticism and the public opinion aren’t bad enough, when people you know personally give criticism to officers, or your own officer, it hits hard and sharp. It’s personal and it’s sad and frustrating at the same time.
When a member of my very own family, someone I had always considered myself close to set out on a rampage about my husband, it felt extremely hurtful.
I was hurt for my trooper and the nasty comments said about him, and I was personally hurt that my own family member would criticize the man I loved. I wanted to reply back right away and defend my husband, but luckily God intervened and reminded me of a simple truth.
He is our defender.
I didn’t need to defend Jon to them and Jon didn’t need to defend himself or his character. God sees us as we are, and no matter what the public or even personal connections may say about us, we can stand firm in who God made us.
God made my husband to be a very honorable, disciplined and trustworthy man and officer of the law. It may hurt and sting a little when people make comments and hasty judgments, without really knowing who my husband is, but I know who he is and God will ultimately fight our battles for us.
The criticism and comments from others, known and unknown, will always hurt but I can rest in the fact that God defends my trooper. He also defends my heart and will always give me the comfort and reassurance in His goodness and grace.
Man Behind the Badge
My husband, whether you know him personally or not, is a great man of faith and has an unwavering dedication to his calling of law enforcement. He has hard days just like the rest of us (probably more so), but he never doubts why he’s doing what he’s doing.
He decompresses after tough days and sometimes just needs peace and quiet. He may share the things that go on when he’s on duty, with or without many details. He protects others, keeps our communities safer and is doing his best each day to keep crime at bay.
He’s not a perfect man and he’s not a perfect trooper either, but he’s a completely honorable one.
My purpose in writing this wasn’t to brag on my husband (although, he deserves a little bragging on his behalf), but to shed light into who he is as a man as well. Law enforcement officers have an extremely tough job and deal with extremely tough people, but at the end of the day they’re just as human as you and I.
Officers may not be as outgoing, talkative or bubbly as others. They may not open up to you right away and they will ALWAYS be aware of the people and situations around them. It’s in their nature and it’s part of who they were trained to be.
You may not see the goofy, loving husband and father they are at home, but that is who they are as well. They’re men and women who have answered a call to do something great, and dangerous, each and every day.
The next time you see an officer (even if he/she is pulling you over), try to see past their “tough” exterior and the seriousness they may exude. They do a tough and serious job every day. Instead, try to see them as the husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, friends and simply men and women they are. They do have hearts, they do express emotions (maybe not in the same way others do) and they truly do care for and about others. They are people behind their badges and their family and loved ones, like myself, ask that you to shed even just an ounce more gratitude and compassion on them and what they do.
Thanks for listening to this simple law enforcement wife’s perspective and stepping in my shoes for just a little while. I see way more people who show kindness and support to my trooper than those that don’t, and I’m extremely thankful for that. 🙂
Please feel free to leave me a comment or questions below!
Beverley Wallstead
Hi Brooke,
Really enjoyed this insight into your lives, I am not one of those that dislike police officers instead I thank God for them doing what so many of us can’t .
Beverley
groundsandgrace.com
Thank you Bev! We appreciate the support. 🙂
Lisa
Brooke! This is a lovely tribute to your husband and a testimony to God’s faithfulness in all circumstances. Thank you for sharing your heart and for reminding me that God is always good, always present, and always at work in our lives. Thank you, too, for the reminder to appreciate those who are called into law enforcement. You have a beautiful marriage and family!
groundsandgrace.com
Thanks so much Lisa! 🙂 I appreciate you reading this and for the kind words and support.
Sarah Kahle
I love seeing your heart in this, B! I’m sure the people who criticize law enforcement wouldn’t turn them away in the case of an emergency though! They forget that these men and women help people in their emergencies every day, putting their lives on the line to serve and protect. I don’t see many of those who hate law enforcement going out to put themselves in the line of fire.
Thank you Jon, and law enforcement everywhere, for your sacrifice!
groundsandgrace.com
Thanks sister! 🙂 I totally agree with you. Thank you for your love and support!
Kimberly
Thank you for allowing us into your life.
With all the issues surrounding police offers going on right now, it’s very refreshing to see a new read on them and their families.
groundsandgrace.com
Thanks for reading Kimberly! I appreciate your feedback as well. 🙂