Do you ever feel misunderstood, and wonder if anyone will ever know the true you?
I do. Almost daily.
I’ve been called quiet, shy, passive, introverted, anti-social, and any other name that comes along with not being an outgoing or outspoken person.
You know what? I’m finally ok with it.
I don’t need to apologize for being who God made me anymore, and you shouldn’t either. It’s ok if I don’t want to speak up every time a thought pops in my head. It’s ok if I’d rather listen and reflect than talk. It’s ok if I want some alone, quiet time instead of being around people. It’s ok for me to choose time at home with my family rather than making all sorts of plans.
It’s ok for me to be me. It’s ok for you to be you.
Stop Aplogizing
I’m a repeat offender of over-apologizing. For everything. As a perpetual people-pleaser, I feel it’s my duty to keep the peace and make everyone happy. Even when it compromises my own feelings.
Regularly, I find myself apologizing for being too laid-back, too passive, too quiet and too…”me.” Why do I do that? Why do so many of us do that? We do that because people like to put us in boxes and make us feel bad for not fitting into other boxes. We make groups we believe people belong in and when they don’t comply, we judge them and point out their “flaws.”
It’s not a flaw to have the personality you have. Even if others tell you it is. You were designed in the image of God and He made you exactly the way you are. On purpose and for a purpose. Stop apologizing to others for that.
It’s a gift and a blessing to be you. Each one of us was hand-crafted and designed to be “one-of-a-kind.” It’s not an accident that you have the gifts or personality you inherit, and it’s time we stick up for them and own them.
Be proud and stop apologizing for who you are. You don’t owe that to anyone.
Embrace the Real You
It can be a tricky thing to know who you really are, let alone embrace it. The world does a superb job of telling us who we should be, and our head can get foggy with what’s true or not. We have a hard time distinguishing the lies from the true beauty of who we really are.
It’s clear, from a worldly standpoint, what’s accepted and what’s not. If we don’t fit into the right categories, we’re made to feel like something is wrong with us. We often hide or feel shame about the things people don’t seem to understand about us.
I know firsthand how difficult it is to be comfortable being yourself, when the real you is so misunderstood and labeled inaccurately. I may be quiet, but I still have valuable things to say. I may not be an award-winning conversationalist, but I still push myself to interact and be friendly to others. I may not always have a witty comeback or like to be the center of attention, but I’m creative and always have new thoughts and ideas rolling around in my mind.
The point is that you shouldn’t feel ashamed of you. You should embrace the you that you are, and definitely stop apologizing when the real you isn’t fully understood.
Be you and be it fully.
Compare Only to Admire
Comparison is so hard and it’s something that gets more and more challenging in the world we live in. Social media is the easiest and quickest way for us to doubt and feel ashamed of ourselves.
We need to look good. We need to have perfect families. We need to be great at speaking. We need to be stylish. We need to have Chip and Joanna worthy homes. We need to have it all together.
Those are daily lies I know I’m personally told. Just by simply browsing through my social media feeds.
If we want to start embracing ourselves, our real selves, we have to stop comparing. We have to stop looking at others to define us. That just leads to shame and anxiety, and ultimately leads us further and further away from who we really are.
Our comparisons often lead us to being judgmental as well. We become jealous of what others have and how they look, and we start shaming them for who they are.
Instead of looking at others and judging them, we could admire what God’s given to them. Be encouraged by what they have to offer, no matter how different they are from you. I enjoy watching super outgoing, extroverted people shine. I’m amused by people who talk easily and always have something witty to add to a conversation. Those are things I lack, but things I can enjoy in others anyway.
You don’t have to understand someone’s preferences or character traits in order to accept or admire them. We’re all different and it’s not just ok; it’s pretty wonderful.
Own It
God’s Word tells us very specifically who each of us are. We’re chosen, we’re forgiven, we’re beautiful creations, we’re unique and we’re His beloved. Those are things we can all own about ourselves. Those are absolute truths about you, and you should never let the world make you feel less than that.
We are also given specific personality traits, gifts and characteristics that make us who we are. Those look different from person to person and should give us hope and gratitude in our hearts to our Creator.
We’re made the way we are on purpose and for a purpose. Others may not understand that and will sometimes even shame you for that, but remember what’s really true. Remember who you truly are and that God doesn’t make mistakes in His people.
For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:13
Everything you are and the way God’s created you to be – own it. Own the real you. Be proud of the real you, and never apologize for it.